Challenging the controlling mind

Our minds love to be right. So much so, that they will go to almost any lengths to find evidence to support what they think is true. It’s why we remember the one bit of negative feedback amongst all the positive, or feel like our children are “always arguing”. As humans, we tend to focusContinue reading “Challenging the controlling mind”

Releasing emotions

Emotional releasing Journaling This is probable the most well-known of techniques for releasing pent up emotions. Whether you choose a dedicated notebook for writing about feelings (my recommendation) or include them as part of a bigger exercise, getting words onto paper is incredibly freeing. I sometimes think of it as literally releasing the words thatContinue reading “Releasing emotions”

Getting to know ourselves from the inside out

Experiencing the breath The one thing that is a constant for as long as we live is our breath. This can be a comfort when everything else around us feels out of control. Yes, our breathing will feel different at times, depending on levels of physical activity and the emotions we’re experiencing. But until theContinue reading “Getting to know ourselves from the inside out”

Going inside – the body scan

Scanning the body The first way to get in touch with your physicality is to carry out a body scan. This just means sitting or lying quietly, setting a timer on your phone or watch for five minutes to begin with. And then, starting at the head, moving your awareness slowly down your body, noticingContinue reading “Going inside – the body scan”

Going inside

Going inside the body Most of us spend our time stuck in our heads with very little awareness of what’s going on. So, when the body begins shouting at us, our heads can take over, with thoughts like “how can this be happening?” “How can I make this stop?” “I’m too young to be startingContinue reading “Going inside”

Battles with our bodies

Relaxing body control You may feel like you’ve been in a battle for control over your body for your whole life. The number of things that we are powerless against can feel overwhelming at times. Our genetically inherited build. Our hormones and menstruation – too frequent, too infrequent, to light, too heavy. Our bodies asContinue reading “Battles with our bodies”

The alternative to control

What’s the alternative to control? Detachment. Just one word, but potentially the most challenging concept many of us will ever have dealt with. Just the associations of the word may feel cold or unloving. And yet, practising detachment is the most loving thing we can do for ourselves and those around us. The concept isContinue reading “The alternative to control”

What’s control got to do with the menopause?

We may have got to this point in our lives using controlling strategies to make us feel safe. And they may have worked for us until now. But, as with other areas of our lives, the law of diminishing returns applies. What worked for us in our 20s and 30s just doesn’t cut it anymore.Continue reading “What’s control got to do with the menopause?”